facebook status – more

Ben always wanted to be somebody.  Now he realizes that he should have been more specific. 

ben had a dream last night, he was eating a ten pound marshmallow. he woke up this morning and his pillow was gone.

ben is happy of the advantages of his being disorderly – he is constantly making exciting discoveries

 A. A. Milne

ben is ready to kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

Steven Wright

ben is proud somebody actually complimented him on his driving abilities today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.

Tommy Cooper

ben was at the airport without a passport. they asked for confirmation for his being israeli, so he went to the line of people on the left and shoved himself to first place in line

ben is saying a joke:  blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’ ‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.

Tommy Cooper

ben shot an elephant in his pajamas one morning. How he got into ben’s pajamas he’ll never know.

Groucho Marx

ben knew he was an unwanted baby when he saw that his bath toys were a toaster and a radio

Joan Rivers